10 Things All Men Need In A Relationship

Whether you are just getting into a relationship or have been in one for decades, it is useful to know what men want in a relationship.

Men are often reluctant to talk about their needs in intimate relationships.

Whether social conditioning or an inability to communicate our needs are to blame, men are prone to silently suffering when their emotional needs aren’t being met by their partners.

Whether you are a man or a woman reading this article, this will give you greater clarity into yourself/partner and what your/their needs are in your intimate relationship.

Let’s put an end to the needless fighting due to miscommunication, the unnecessary sex-less nights, and the verbal shut-downs.

Read through these tips and I promise you’ll never see your relationship through the same lens again.

Here are ten things all men need in a relationship:

1- Men Need Great Sex:

According to Dr. Juli Slattery, sex is on the top of the list when considering what men need in a relationship. Not only do men need sex, but they need good sex, not sex that is done out of obligation or guilt. Dr. Slattery explains that sex is an inextricable part of a man in terms of his physical, emotional, and spiritual wellness:

Physically, men have a biological need for sexual release.

Emotionally, men, like women, want to feel desirable to their partner.

Spiritually, in a relationship, men and women need to explore their connectivity to each other.

Many times, women and men differ in sexual drives because of the demands of daily life. Women become focused on raising a family and balancing a career, and often times, sex can take a back seat to life's other obligations. Dr. Slattery suggests that problems in the relationship arise when women don't acknowledge this aspect of a relationship as a need as opposed to a desire.

Dr. Slattery suggests that if you are a woman who feels like her husband's drive for sex is perverted or dirty, you need to examine why you view sex with such disdain, rather than as a natural and necessary part of a relationship between a man and a woman.

2- A Sense Of Sexual Connection:

Men and women both connect through sex and communication, but generally, women connect better through communication and men connect better through sex.

Does this mean that men need to have sex with their intimate partners every day in order to feel connected? Not necessarily.

Men, more often than not, connect through indicators of sexual access just as much as they do through sex.

Allow me to explain…

Often, a man will initiate sex just to make sure that you are still sexually available to him. So, to my man-loving readers out there, if he reaches across the bed for you, even showing the willingness to embrace him, to kiss him deeply, and to romantically engage him could be enough to make him feel loved (not that the follow through isn’t enjoyable).

This lack of awareness around women needing to connect through words and men needing to connect through sex can sometimes turn into an unfortunate and rapid downward spiral. She doesn’t feel like opening sexually until she feels connected to him, but he finds it difficult to communicate with her because they haven’t been physical with each other in days.

Talk with your partner and ask what specifically helps them feel the most loved so you can avoid these unintentional standoffs.

3- Respect:

Men feel respect as love.

If he feels like you disapprove of him, his career, or the things that he believes to be integral to who he is as a person, he will have a hard time trusting and loving you.

The thought process behind that being “If she doesn’t respect who I am at my core, then how can she really want what is best for me?”

If a man’s partner doesn’t respect his path or mission in life, then he will find it very difficult to feel other than an anxious need to distance himself from her.

4- Men Need Space:

Any person who pursues a healthy relationship needs their personal space from time to time.

Author Deborah Tannen has written brilliantly on the masculine and feminine divide between independence and intimacy (masculine being primarily drawn towards independence and the feminine toward intimacy).

Men are no different. Sometimes, they need a little time to themselves. This concept, while seen as a difference between the sexes, can apply to women as well. For instance, do you want your husband to insist on accompanying you on your girl's night out? Establishing healthy personal boundaries is a key component of any healthy relationship.

5- Makes fitness a priority:

You ever see the look a girl gives you when you put on a fitted shirt and it looks good? You haven’t? Then start working out, salty. Not only does it help you look awesome, but it extends the quality of life you’ll have into old age. Likewise, you should pick a chick that values this as well. If true love is to last, having healthy bodies will go a long way towards making that path easier to tread as you build your life together. Plus, being fit makes your sex hotter. So pick up the fucking dumbbell for goodness’ sake.

6- Men Need to Be Understood:

Again, this goes for women too. However, women need to understand that men's expectations, based on their emotional needs, differ from women's expectations in relationships. A man likes to know that you can trust him and lean on him, that you appreciate him, you hold him in high regard, you support and approve of what he does, and that you are on his side.

7- Security:

Men and women are both attracted to certainty in a relationship. The more a man feels like his partner is in it for the long haul, the more ready and able he is to be able to open up to her (assuming he is equally invested in her).

But security goes deeper than just the fact that you won’t leave him. The security that he feels ties back into several of these points. He feels secure in knowing that you approve of him and where he is in his career. He feels secure and loved when you touch him non-sexually throughout the day. He feels secure when he is allowed to have his guys’ nights away from you and you don’t feel the need to call or text him every half hour to check in. He needs to know he can cut his emotions loose around you without fear of judgment or ridicule.

And he feels secure with a partner who takes steps to love him in the way that he most needs.

8- Men's Needs in Marriages:

In the book, His Needs, Her Needs, author Willard Harley suggests that when marriages fail, it is because couples don't feel like they did when they first met. The path to achieving this, Harley states, is to meet each other's emotional needs.

However, men's emotional needs are different from women's. As Harley states, often these needs are opposite, which lead to miscommunications and an under-appreciation of the spouse's efforts. He also warns that each of these needs cannot be applied to every single man, but should be taken as a general guideline. At times, women can share the same needs as men, but they might differ on the priority list as to placement.

There are five emotional needs of men that lead them to feel they are satisfied in a marriage:

• Men need to feel admired and held in high regard.

• Men need to feel attractive.

• Men need to have companionship and do things with their spouse.

• Men need to be sexually fulfilled.

• Men need to feel supported.

9 - Keeps a clean home:

Yeah, I know it’s not 1847 and a man can keep his own house in order. But when a woman works with you to maintain that home it produces a beautiful relationship vibe that lets a fella know that his children are safe in her care. Look, bro. Sex is cool and everything and chasing tail have its fun, but if you’re dating it’s because you, eventually, want to get married. So focus on chicks that look like they know how to keep their place looking as good as you do. If you can’t keep your place clean, start figuring it out. You want your future love to treat you like a man, not like she’s your mom.

10- Men Need to Satisfy Their Woman:

Men feel happy when they can make their woman happy. It has to do with the give and take in the relationship. When the man and woman in the relationship at least try to make each other happy, it goes a long way to the love and caring they demonstrate to each other.

Men who feel this need are most often individuals that are mentally and emotionally looking towards establishing and maintaining a long-term relationship and engage in healthy behaviors to encourage the success of the relationship.

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